A new chapter, again

I just moved to SF this week for law school! Its been a crazy mental transition, and Im finally feeling well settled and genuinely excited for whats coming up next in my life, namely law school. First and foremost though, I took some pictures of my new crib and I wanted to post em up here.

This is the entrance to the apartment. We are the bottom of a three unit building in the sunny Mission neighborhood of SF.

The entrance is a narrow hallway, which is a good representation of what the entire layout is like. Narrow and long with the rooms on either side of the hallway.

The living room.

My room from the doorway.

The other side of my room.

Among other things, I went to a little mixer last night put on by one of my fellow 1Ls. It was a chance for us to meet up informally before orientation. It was at Mr. Smiths, a club close to school and in the SoMa neighborhood. I'm not one to step out and meet people like that normally, but it was nice to see my fellow classmates and get to know about the people who will most likely go on to be colleagues and friends in the future. The club is a pretty nice spot with cheap and good drinks. I had, for the first time, a Basil Gimlet which is a variation of my favorite cocktail and it was delicious. The music was questionable; had me loving to hate it and hating to love it at times. Overall, a good night. It felt great to just walk out of the club, hop on BART, and be home in 15 minutes without having to even think about driving, parking, traffic, one time, or anything! Going out in SF is gonna be a lot of fun!

...keep it fresh

- Neil

It's not something I believe I can plan. I suppose that's because it cannot be tamed, cannot be controlled. As much as I may want it to happen to me, I don't know if it ever will. I live my life resisting the temptation to assume its occurrence at the same time trying not to be so arrogant as to question its existence. There have been a few times in my life when I thought I found it in another. Maybe I did. Life always seemed so much better in those days. But I always believed that once I found it, it would be permanent. That it would perpetuate infinitely. Perhaps I was wrong. Perhaps it comes and goes as the seasons, though not with the same certainty. I wish it were certain. Life seems so lifeless without it.

This morning I woke up longing for it, like I have many times before, feeling such an excruciating yet pleasurable pain in some invisible space in the center of my body. Nothing I did could take away that feeling, and in a strange way I did not want the feeling to go away. I imagine it is this very pain that hurts so much when I am without it that feels so good when I am with it. For even pain turns to pleasure in its presence. In its absence though, there is much that can go wrong. Envy fills the void, the antithesis to it. Fleeting and unstable yet so comforting in the exact moment, it eats away at my sanity interrupting the positive flow of my energy. Doubt makes an appearance with all its conceit, its self-righteousness slowly evaporating any sense of certainty and hope. One must have it before it can be shared with others, or with another.

I have so much to give, and no one to give it to.
I have so much to give, and am looking for the one to give it to.
I have so much to give, and want so much for someone to give it to.

How to cheer up a sad iPod

A few months ago when I returned from my travels in Central America, the first time I tried to turn my iPod on it wouldn't work. It gave me the sad face! I had heard stories about the sad face and it being the final blow to ones iPod ensuring certain death. I tried rebooting my iPod, restoring it, I even tried giving it CPR but nothing seemed to work. After a month or two of being disappointed from such a terrible loss, my spirits were uplifted with the purchase of an iPhone! I thought, "Well, my iPod mini has a total capacity of 4GB and my iPhone itself has a total capacity of 8GB so addition by addition I dont need my stupid broken iPod anymore!" And with that, I chucked my iPod and all the accessories I had accumulated over time into a drawer which I never expected to check until the next spring cleaning date.

What a blow to little iPod mini's self esteem that must have been. No less than 3 months of solitary confinement would break the very soul of almost every other mp3 player there is. Yet the iPod mini is not just ANY mp3 player. Unbeknownst to little "miniPod for monsterPod", there was yet a sliver of life left in its resilient heart that would show its colors soon enough...

...For the past couple of weeks I have been getting things together to either take with me to my apartment in SF or pack away in storage for a while. I made my way to the drawer in which little iPod has been sleeping for so long and suddenly, I felt my heart drop. For all the miles I could not have run if not for my iPod, for all the canvassers I could not have ignored while walking up Bruinwalk, for all the songs I would have never listened to if not for the shuffling of its tiny-but-mighty 4GB library...

I couldn't just let it go from dark drawer to dark box, or worse. So I took it out one last time to see if I couldn't get it to work. Once again, I went to Apple to troubleshoot there for a while to no avail. Once again, it didn't work. It was then time to digg a little deeper. I searched the blogosphere for revival techniques and what I uncovered is nothing short of a conspiracy! Nearly all the websites suggested the same solution: BANG YOU iPOD ON THE GROUND. And then Lil' Jon appeared in my room and said, "WHAAAAT!?" to which I responded, "OOKAY!". And in an instant I took my iPod and tossed it across the room. It landed some 10 feet away from me on the carpet with a thud and rolled a couple feet further. Then it just lay there, on its stomach, motionless. As I walked over to pick it up the thought that I might have really killed it was front and center.

I picked it up, and turned it over. No sad face, no apple icon, nothing. I turned it on and to my amazement the little guy woke up!! Pretty much the happiest moment this month!







keep it fresh...like miniPod for monsterPod

- Neil

Who owns you?

I have heard, "It is very difficult for the poor to practice charity." Because one must have him/herself for one to share. You cannot share that which you do not have. Really, material things are not important in this post. It is things like respect, kindness, love that I am interested in. Why is it that we feel we must be given these very things before we can ourselves give back? You do not need someone else to give you respect before you are able to give respect yourself. Sit in a room, be loving. In our world, to practice love you need another being to share it with. No, share love with yourself. Fill an empty room with love, joy, thoughtfulness and see how the atmosphere in the room changes.

There are many things, material and immaterial, that we feel we own. We pay a price for a pair of jeans, or pay our time for a check at the end of the week, or pay with our experience for respect. We simply assume that we own, and thereby control, anything that we pay for or are given. Many of these things we have trouble sharing. Why is it that we do not share our money? The money, yes, is physically in your possession but if in your heart you want to give it to someone else but do not do so then who is in control and who is being controlled? Many times it is us who are possessed by the very things we "own." Free yourself from that which you think you own. Do not be held back by that which you have to give.

Americanaland

I visited the new mixed-use development in Glendale called Americana a couple days ago. From a bit of reading and what I have learned from people some of the goals of mixed-use development are to enhance accessibility, economize on resource consumption, and create a community; among other things I imagine. Though mixed-use is not in any way a new concept, LA has not used it as much as other cities. And I think Americana is a great first step towards integrating residential and commercial spaces hopefully moving away from our "Crash"-like disconnectedness.

But as with many things in LA, it strikes me as pretentious with a lot of fru-fru, if you know what I mean. Straight up, it looks like Disneyland's newest addition: Americanaland! It seems as though no real effort was made to make Americana part of Glendale. Instead the community of Americana is itself a micro-city within a city. With its Orange Express trolley that runs along the walkway lined with shops and restaurants and theaters (mind you, not essentials like grocerys, hardware, dry-cleaners), and past the giant gold statue of, most likely, some greek god straight out of Caesars Palace, around the mini-Bellagio fountains....I could go on. The manufactured "golden era" atmosphere is hardly nostalgic nor inviting to me and made me feel more uncomfortable than relaxed as one hopes to be in an outdoors area like that. One feels more pressure to take in all the sights as if visiting a theme park than to enjoy oneself and stroll through the "neighborhood." To be sure, there were definitely more people taking pictures than were shopping or enjoying an afternoon at the "park." I did find some pretty good deals at the J.Crew though and a business idea as a result of visiting another store, so the day was pretty fruitful after all.

In the future, hopefully I can incorporate more images into these posts to provides some visual stimulation as well.

keep it fresh...

- Neil

Business Casualty

Business. Busy-ness. The state of being busy, like happiness or blandness or strangeness. It's one of those words that is part of nearly every human being's vocabulary in whatever language one speaks. In the world I live almost anything can be a business. Almost everything is. At what point, though, do the highly esteemed precepts of business in our society go from being socially constructive to socially destructive?

I think American society and several others have already passed that point. Business as usual is, and has been, a destructive force to the society and environment in which we live. As a student at the free market capitalism-loving, Milton Friedman-worshiping, Communism-fearing department of Economics at UCLA, I was consistently fed the traditional 'maximize production-minimize costs-government stay the fuck out the way' formula. To be honest, in theory all of it sounds really good.

Then I took an Environmental Economics course and realized that business as usual (economics at UCLA) is in large part the reason why human-inhabited areas of the planet are a complete dump. Though Milton Friedman's main assertion was that free market policies were the best way to set free, politically and socially, a state under totalitarian or central control, I find it hard to believe that the United States is a politically and socially 'free' country. What Milton Friedman didn't bank on was the insatiable greed of humans. That thought is curious, because one of the first thing you learn in economics is the very concept of human greed. Essentially, economics is the study of how to curb human greed from threatening our survival. Hence the morbid fear of monopolies, oligopolies, and the Prisoners' Dilemma.

Though I clearly haven't refined my thoughts in this post yet, my point is that capitalism as it stands is a dangerous force. It has given dominance to those countries that have adopted its ways, but a truly inequitable world has been created as a result. And the scary part is that the countries which are sowing the seed of their economic future today (China, Korea, India, Brazil, South Africa...) are pursuing the same ends that the early-industrial countries did. Eventually these countries will reach a peak like the US and some European countries and then what? For all the dislike of America around the world, there are few countries (are there any?) that have the fortitude to break away from following its lead into an unsustainable future.

...keep it fresh

- neil

Memories

Do you trust your memory? Is what you remember to have happened two years ago on July 4th or graduation night from high school or your first date really what happened? What about that argument you had with your friend, your parents, your boy/girlfriend?...

I have this unusually miserable habit of second-guessing my memory's accuracy. It is not something I voluntarily do because I enjoy it, it is because there are periods of my life that I just can't remember. Therefore I have a hard time trusting whether some of the things I remember are really what happened and if they are in fact my own first-hand memories. For instance, I moved to India when I was 7 years old and lived there for three years. I know that. Because it happened. And I remember selected specific events throughout the time I lived there, but if you asked me to describe a typical 24-hour day in the life of 8 or 9 or even 10 year-old Neil I could hardly get past 3pm (which is when I got out of school). Not only is my memory sparse, but some of what I do know about my childhood isn't even my own first-hand memory. Home videos and accounts from family members make up a significant amount of what I know about my past. To the point where I'm not sure if I actually remember where I slept every night or I know it because I'm told where I did.

Everyone has been through that moment in life with friends, family, or complete strangers that feels so surreal in its awkwardness, greatness, or warmth and we all say, "I'm never forget this moment, this day, this feeling." Well, I've forgotten some of those moments. I know that because in my memory I can see myself saying that line, but in an empty black space, and I can't paint a picture of my surroundings or my feelings or who I was with. It saddens me to think that I am losing those moments in the past that felt so unforgettable in the present. More than losing single moments though, I feel like I can't account for whole periods of time in my life. Not just temporally, but periods defined by relationships, schooling, or travel.

My inspiration for writing about this, you might be wondering, was going through some old photos and greeting cards that I have kept in my wildly unorganized top dresser drawer. Looking at those things triggered emotions about some of the relationships I've had with people that I don't feel right off the bat when I think about them today. In other words, my gut emotion when I am reminded of some of the relationships that have faded away or ended is so different (sometimes) to what I feel when I start digging into some of the "things" I have that remind me of those people.

I guess its great to have a computer which doesn't have a faulty memory system like I do. I truly will never forget that I wrote this because it will perpetuate in 60gb of hard drive and the seemingly unlimited world of cyberspace for all time!

More on the computerization of our lives later.

keep it fresh...

- Neil

Mix Meister

So my moms 50th birthday is coming up and we have decided to throw her a party in celebration. At first we wanted to throw her a surprise birthday party but knowing our mom, we decided it would be better if she knew about it and helped plan it instead. So, as per her wishes, we are having a dance party because she loves to dance. When it came down to logistics, we figured that getting a DJ for a couple of hours to play some music we liked and some we didn't wasn't good enough, so I was put in charge of music. The restaurant that we are having the party at has a system already with 2 CD players, so the only option was to play CD's or hook up an iPod.

Well, what we were giving up in not getting a DJ is her/his ability to mix music smoothly which is the most important element for a successful dance party. So in the absence of a real DJ, I had to integrate the 'DJ' into the CD.

I've always been interested in DJing and mixing music and have tried my hands at turntabling as well as countless computer DJ programs to be my very own "bedroom DJ." Most interfaces of computer DJ programs have turntables in them that are overly sensitive to the movement of the mouse as its control. Add to that the complex EQ controls and it was very easy for me to get discouraged. Enter Mix Meister Studio.

More than a DJ program, this is music editing software so the controls are different. For mixing it is alot easier to cut, fade, and mix songs together. I've been gathering all the songs that my mom wants us to play (mostly 70s, 80s, bhangra, and hindi film) and adding a little flavor of my own to the mix and its coming along great. It is so much fun! Yesterday, I spent nearly 6 hours mixing music and for the rest of the evening I had that ringing in my ears like when you come back from a concert. Anyway, I have one week to finish this mix and then I can start on mixes that I've always wanted to put together. If anyone has a request, let me know a genre and a few core songs and I'll put together the rest of the mix.

...keep it fresh

- Neil

How do you pick yourself up?

Everyone has their own way of managing their energy. I'm not talking about physical energy, I'm talking about your overall vibe and the way you feel about you, your surroundings, and your place right at this moment in time. I haven't ever kept track of it on a daily or even weekly basis, but I feel like my energy goes up and down in cycles. For a week or so I might feel lethargic and lazy when I wake up in the morning and carry on like that for the rest of the day. It really feels terrible. Especially when I've got stuff to do like wash my car or go to the bank or make a phone call, and I just put it off all day even when I know I will regret not doing any of those things before I go to bed. I wake up the next morning with the burden of what I didn't do yesterday plus what I need to accomplish today...and like that the stress on my energy compounds. Now, I don't know how well I explained this feeling but I know that in some capacity everyone gets it at times. Personally, the best way for me to raise my energy level is by exercising or going outside and taking a walk. Just today, in fact, I was able to come out of a funk when I exercised earlier in the morning. I also believe that some of my habits or lifestyle characteristics perpetuate this negative energy. For one, I hate the fact that I have gotten used to waking up late again. Not that I was ever an early-riser, but before about two months ago I was waking up at a reasonable time for about a year. Now, I get up no earlier than 8:30 and usually around 9:30 feeling just as tired as before I went to bed. Waking up early itself isn't the answer, its the mindset I wake up with that helps me maintain my energy through the day. Anyway, I feel like I'm rambling so this will end here.

...keep it fresh

- Neil

Democratic Debate

So I'm watching the debate between Hillary and Barack right now. Why is it that they spend the first 30 minutes talking about individual and personal issues? First they talk about Barack's recent comments in California about "frustrated and bitter" people "clinging to religion and guns." Then they go on about the Reverend Wright situation. Not until 45 minutes into the debate do they start talking substance. And the first two voter video questions were useless. The first was about Hillary not portraying her Bosnia visit accurately and the second about why Barack Obama doesn't at times wear a flag pin. What, if anything, does this have to do with what each of these candidates will do as president?

The beginning of April and a new chapter

First off, friday nights Laker game was sick! That had to be one of the dopest games of the season and I was lucky enough to be in the building! I cant wait for the playoffs to start, this is likely to be one of the most exciting post-seasons of the decade. M-V-P! M-V-P! M-V-P!

Two weeks ago I visited two law schools I was interested in; UC Hastings and UC Davis, it seems I cant escape the UC system for my education. My dad was going to drive up with me because he needed to go to Reno after we were done looking at schools, and so I asked my mom to come with us as well so they both could visit the schools with me and help me make my decision of where to go to law school. So it turned out that all three of us left on Wednesday for a mini college tour. We stopped in Davis first. My first impression of Davis was mildly interested at best. The town is quaint and college-townish with a wholesome community and mom-and-pop shops lining the streets. Of course my parents were thrilled to think that I might be in a "safe" neighborhood for school since I would be so far from home. I got a chance to sit in on a Property class the next day with a current 1L student. The sound of the laptop keys was deafening! Every student save 3 or 4 had a laptop in front of them typing every word that came out of the professors mouth. There wasn't too much class participation in the class but the 50 minutes went by fast enough. I took a walk around the law school area of campus afterwards and found the campus to be really beautiful, but knew that coming to school there I wouldn't be able to enjoy the campus like an undergrad.

Well, the next day I went to Hastings and found that its campus comprises two buildings in the Tenderloin District of San Francisco. The tenderloin is a neighborhood in transition similar to the outskirts of Downtown LA. In San Francisco, unlike LA, communities overlap physical boundaries so two streets down from school the change in scenery is fairly dramatic. We stayed in a pretty dingy drive-in motel the first night within two blocks of school and got to see first-hand the "diversity" of the neighborhood. To say my parents were dreaming of me going to Davis is an understatement. On the other hand, I was totally feeling the vibe of San Francisco. I walk down one street dressed in some jeans and a hoody and I fit right in. Then, I cross the street and I look like I came fresh out the gutta compared to the people walking on the sidewalk. You just cant judge people by what they look like in the City (and everywhere else), you never know who you're looking at until you get to know them. The way people react to each other there is just so different.

Anyway, about the school...

I got to sit in on a Criminal Procedures class, which by its very nature is very much more interesting than Property. Nevertheless the class was more lively and only about 60% of the class was on Facebook compared to almost everyone at Davis. I pretty much made up my mind by the end of the day that I wanted to be at Hastings. Looking back at my perception of Hastings back in August-September last year when I was getting ready to apply to schools I didnt think much of the school and applied to the school solely because it is a decent law school in California. Now, after visiting it and meeting with several current students my vision of the school is very different. I am genuinely excited to be going there and realize that the school is itself a great institution that can and will provide me with a stimulating education and access to a variety of professional options once I graduate. So, I'm definitely looking forward to going up north this fall.

Well, I was gonna write more but I'm watching the last Laker game of the season so I'll come back later..

...keep it fresh

- Neil

On the open road

In a couple weeks I have driven some 3000 miles up and down the west coast, and next week im headed up to the bay area again. I have been wanting to take a road trip up to the bay for a few months now for pleasure, but all these trips have been work/school related. The trip next week is also for law school.

Driving up the I-5 is a wonderful experience, if you can stay awake. Since the rains over winter, much of the land flanking the highway is green and alive. The trees look healthy, even as they are subjected to napalm-like strikes of pesticide from planes flying above. On my first trip I made it as far as San Francisco for an interview over the course of the weekend. Man, the City is such a charming place. I think I would love it up there if I had to live there for a while.

The next time I drove up I went all the way to Portland, Oregon. So it was deja vu all the way up to Sacramento. From there on I got to see California like I had never seen it before. I had my road map open on the passenger seat and at one point I knew I was approaching Mt. Shasta but I still couldn't see it. According to the map it should have been right in front of my face. I stop in the town of Mt. Shasta to have lunch and the fog begins to lift. So I get back on the road and all of a sudden I look up in front of me and see it. Have you ever seen a natural wonder so awesome that it gave you the chills? That was the feeling, I got so nervous for some reason as if the power of the mountain scared me to my bones. Its the kind of feeling I get when I look down into the Grand Canyon or feel an earthquake. It was amazing.

Then, driving back was just as pretty. It was late at night on a full moon. The moon was sitting low in the sky, shining but sort of glazed over with orange like it was drunk. The silhouette of Mt. Shasta become sharper as the moon moved behind it. At one point, the moon was fully hidden behind the mountain and shone its light creating an aura of light around the mountain that looked magical. After a few minutes the moon peeked out from one side and then fully came out again leaving the dark mountaintop behind. What a sight! And to think, if I didnt decided to drive down that night I would not have witnessed that.

That didn't really make up for the rest of the 15 hour trip that was pretty boring overall, though. Remind me next time not to decide to drive up that far by myself again. Thats all.

...keep it fresh

- Neil

Tequila Gimlet

Thought I'd share my favorite drink recipe with anyone and everyone.

For those of you who sometimes go to a bar in the mood for a new drink and refuse to give in to a Jack and Coke, the Tequila Gimlet is a great option. That is, if you like tequila. I was introduced to the Gimlet by a bartender who offered the drink in response to my request for 'the strongest drink I could get for my last 12 bucks' at The Standard Downtown. Unlike the margarita, a gimlet will preserve the taste of the tequila. In case you forget what you're drinking, take a sip and it says, "Dont get it twisted, you're drinking alcohol." I love it. To be fair though, the pinch of lime tones down the bite of the tequila enough to make it a pleasant drink for people who aren't the biggest fans of cien porciento agave. All in all, its definitely worth trying next time you're in an adventurous mood. Trust, knock back two or three and you'll be doing the Macarena to Soulja Boy and Walkin it Out to The Ketchup Song!

Recipe:

2 oz Tequila Reposado (avoid dark or sipping tequila)
1 oz lemon juice
1/4 oz Rose's lime juice
1 lime wedge

Fill a shaker with ice, mix all ingredients, shake and strain into a chilled cocktail glass. Garnish with a lime wedge.

Quit baggin on me

In my effort to accumulate less "stuff", I have started making it a point to ask stores not to bag items for me if I can carry them in my hands. Here's the crazy thing: More often than not, the cashier gives me a bewildered look and sometimes I even get a dirty look! At first, I wouldn't remember to ask not to bag the purchase until it was already done. In that case, I guess some people were annoyed that I didn't ask earlier so they didn't have to take the stuff right back out. Now I make sure to ask right when they start scanning items. This works much better and also breaks the ever-present awkward silence between customer and cashier at the register. Try it!

Planet Earth

The Planet Earth series by the BBC, aired on Discovery Channel last year, is one of the most fantastic documentaries I have seen. It is intensely beautiful, educational, and interesting beyond compare. 5 years and 25 million dollars went into the production of this amazing series. Thinking about the importance of this show and its impact on awareness and conservation across the globe on a $25M budget, I cant help but wonder what kind of impact this type of work could have if only we reserved a fraction of the resources we use in Iraq for conservation efforts. Right now, the cost of the war in Iraq is upwards of $450 billion. I have no idea how to interpret an amount like that.

Looking at what the BBC crew was able to accomplish imparts a sense of pride to me in the potential of human ingenuity. Looking at what the US has accomplished instills in me a fear of the self-destructive power of human hostility. Lastly, looking at what my hometown of Cerritos has accomplished with the construction of a $40M "state-of-the-art" library w/ underground parking structure just makes me frustrated at the ambivalence of upper-middle class America.

$25M was spent on educating people on the importance of conserving diversity of life on this place we call home, and $450B has been spent on destroying life. It doesn't seem equitable, does it?

Breaking down the Lakers

At the top of the Western Conference, the Lakers are playing a game none of us have seen before. Keep it coming yall. Who would have thought that they would be sitting on top 60 games into the season?

I didn't. I didn't get a chance to see the first 20-30 games of the season, so I missed Andrew Bynum's blossoming and the cohesion that took place in the locker room. Of course the biggest news since then is the acquisition of Pau Gasol. What an amazing trade! As good as Pau is as an individual, he fits in even better with this Laker team. Phil Jackson can run plays with Pau that he couldn't run with Shaq because of Pau's ability to stretch the defense. Yet the full impact of Pau Gasol is not limited to his individual skill or coachability. It is the boost in confidence to the other players on the team that has sustained this early success for the Lakers. Farmar, Vujacic, Turiaf, and Radmanovic are playing better and better. Finally, it seems for some of us, the Lakers have someone else who can shoot the ball or score on a consistent basis besides Kobe.

While Kobe's assists are up this year as he has taken on more of a facilitating role in addition to being the leading scorer, his game is freed by Lamar Odom's versatility. Lamar has flourished in his do-whatever-it-takes role as Kobe's swingman. Lamar has been a great floor general and is comforted even more now that Pau has taken away the pressure of being the second scoring option. Odom feels like he can score when he's comfortable now which allows him to play his own game.

Sasha! The Machine! Man, his jersey sales (if they make a Vujacic jersey) must be soaring as high as his confidence right now. His growth, along with Jordan Farmar and Vlad, has changed the dynamic on the floor. Some people are wondering why they haven't seen the unhuman Kobe plays, where he takes on all 5 defenders and somehow gets the And1 with an impossible move. Well, Kobe used to force those shots because he didn't have the trust in his teammates to hit the open shots. Granted, the argument can be made that they weren't able to get used to shooting in the game because he never passed the ball. This year, he made an effort to change his game to involve his teammates and it has paid off. Now when he drives the lane, he simply drops it off to a cutting Ronny-Pau-Lamar, or kicks it out to Sasha-Jordan-Derek-Vlad for the corner triple. Of course Kobe's passing had to improve this year for this style of play to be successful and the growing pains have come in the form of more turnovers by Kobe.

Derek Fisher, God bless him for returning, added yet another dimension. The Lakers need a strong point guard so Lamar and Kobe don't have to handle the ball, call plays, and direct traffic all at the same time. And who better than a veteran of the 3peat-Jackson days who is familiar with the offense and the players. Derek's scoring consistency and calm-collected attitude on the court has made the younger guys comfortable as well.

Luke Walton is the only player on the team who has been left out in this unprecedented year of growth for the Lakers. His struggle this year is ironic. For the past 3-4 years when the Lakers have been struggling as a team, Walton was one of the more consistent players helping them stay afloat. Now, as the team is growing into the playoff team they want to be, Walton seems to be stagnant. His shot is off, and passing ability hiding somewhere he can't get at. Hopefully the excitement of the playoffs will bring out the Luuuuuuuuuuke in him.

As for Bynum and Ariza, I can't comment. Just as I came back home they both went out with injuries. Ariza should be coming back soon, and Bynum a bit later. If both of them play like everyone says they played before they went out, I think the Lakers will be fine.

Scratch that. The Lakers are arguably the best team in the league right now, making a run at the right time in the season when most teams are falling prey to the monotony of the 82-game season. And when Bynum and Ariza come back, there will be an air of excitement for the final 10-15 games of the season heading into the playoffs. I cant wait!

...Keep it fresh

- Neil

Continuing the story

Well, this started as a travel log and a way to communicate with friends and family. I think that it can still serve one of its purposes even though I'm back in LA and only a phone call away. One lesson I learned from traveling is that it is very difficult and even more important to process my own thoughts in some form. Whether on a daily, weekly, or unscheduled basis documenting my thoughts is a great way to reflect on my life and gain a better understanding of myself. As for why I choose this medium to do it; when I am consciously aware that the whole world has access to my brain at their fingertips, I think that sharing my thoughts will have the added effect of provoking thought in others. And that is something we need to do more with each other.

I had a conversation recently with a friend about the Obama campaign. Naturally, we began discussing what and why we were attracted to his campaign over any of the other candidates. One of the points we both agreed on is that Obama seems to have the charisma and energy of a leader that is not shared by any other candidate. And this is where it got interesting...

...because the focus that popular media highlights is "the issues." Where do the candidates stand on health care, "the war," social security, the environment? The candidates are applauded or criticized for their positions and their plans to change (or maintain) current policies. Finally, the candidates themselves point out weaknesses or inconsistencies in their opponent's campaigns. This is the presidential race (race...why are we in such a hurry?). This is the way it has been for as long as I have been alive.

But what else is there that motivates and inspires someone to exercise their "inalienable" right to vote for their future leader? Well, theres leadership. Theoretically, in our democratic society people are the ultimate leaders of the country. As a collective group, aren't we the ones who have the power to effect change in our own society? Yet, today we shrug that responsibility (and in turn surrender that potential power) and expect the government to do it for us. People expect the government to fix the housing crisis and stop the pollution of the environment and stop raising taxes and make sure that nothing interferes with the sale at The Gap on Sunday. When did people lose faith in their own ability to make a change? Unfortunately, the current administration gladly accepts its paternal role (human greed for power is a terrifying force) as it steers us further and further away from the true democracy we are supposed to have. Political officials are sometimes referred to as "public servants", yet so little of what they do is public and even less in an effort to serve someone other than themselves.

What I believe a leader of this country should do is incite people into action, motivate cooperation to change that which they believe needs change, and inspire us to become the the democracy that we fake to the world today. Essentially, when I hear Barack Obama speak on "the issues," I am not merely in general agreement with his proposals, I share his professed values and I feel this desire to work towards achieving something. I actually want to help the government because I believe in it. If people regain trust in the work of the government, then taxes will not be a burden, voting wont seem such an obligation, and Lou Dobbs and Bill O'Reilly will hopefully finally be out of a job.

Two more things come to mind. One, the fact that people may read this and write it off as unrealistic idealism speaks about as clearly as anything to the rigidity in our culture. And two, that this post turned out to be nothing like I imagined it would be when I started.

Keep it fresh.

- Neil

The massage from Hell

This was written while I was still in guatemala but I got cut off of the internet, so heres the whole story:

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So, I was going to recount all that happened since Christmas Eve (which would end up being too much) but after what happened to me yesterday I have to write this down.

Two days ago I came to Guatemala City from Xela with all my bags ready to get on my flight on Monday. I told myself that I would get a massage to relax before going home because I wanted to feel good returning home after 2 months. Yesterday I found out that the hotel Im staying at has a spa and they do massages. Perfect! So I called them right up and scheduled my appointment for the day. Now the hotel Im staying at is pretty damn nice so I expected the spa to be pretty damn nice as well. Not the case at all. It turned out to be a tiny 4x9 room with no ambience or even anything that said "relax." I guess thats why it was 100Q/hr. What happened to me for an hour in that room is something that I wouldnt wish upon my worst enemy or even George Bush.

I felt like Jack Bauer in China.

for those of you who didnt get that one, try this...

I felt like Jodie Foster in The Accused.

(I dont really know what happened to her; I never saw the movie but I assume it was bad from the context in which it was referenced in Wedding Crashers)

This is how it went down. I laid down on my stomach and she began the massage on my legs. At first i told her to take it easy because my body has become somewhat fragile in the past few weeks. So shes massaging very gently...too gently so I say its okay to put a little more pressure. For the rest of my life I will regret uttering those words to that massage demon woman! She starts putting more pressure and at first its okay until she moves onto my back. I cant explain how uncanny it was that she would put the most pressure on the places that hurt the most to me. It wasnt the type of strong pressure to try to relieve knots or lengthen the muscle, it was just someone angry pushing into your back trying to feel the inside of your spine. Then she would use the point of her thumb to dig into my back and run it along my spine up to my neck.

In addition, my head wasnt comfortably set into the hole of the massage table...well because there was no hole in the massage table. Instead, my head was just hanging off the front of the table so every time she pushed on my neck it was as if my head was going to detach from my neck and drop to the ground. Then, I had to turn over onto my back.

This is where things got really bad. My stomach is really tender right now because Im a little under the weather. Again she started on the legs which were fine. Then she started "massaging" my arms. It was bad. Every way in which you could apply pressure to someones arm and hurt them is what she did to me. Its like she was a martial arts instructor showing me all the pressure points and how to disable your enemy in a fight. Not only that, she would pick up her cellphone every time she got a call, put it against her shoulder, and continue with the massage while talking to whoever it was. Not the most relaxing setting for a massage.

To sum it all up, I was counting the minutes for the hour to end. And finally when it did, I was worse for it. Ive been sore all day today, and I think I'm actually sick. Ill be home soon...

Keep it fresh...